Lady or a Tramp?

As I observe people around me, I realize that the term “lady” no longer has the same meaning as it once did. I hear women say all the time, “I’m too much of a lady to act like that” and then go off and do something so unladylike it is ridiculous.

The definition of “lady” is:

            A woman who is refined, polite and well-spoken.

“Refined” is defined as:

            Freed or free from coarseness, vulgarity, etc.
            Synonyms include: cultivated, polished, polite, genteel, elegant

I am sorry, but a high number of women are not acting like a lady. Not in the way they speak, act, dress, walk, dance, and so on.

You want to see an example of unladylike behavior? Just turn on a TV and watch any reality TV show that is out there: Real Housewives of Anytown, USA, Basketball Wives, Real World, The Bachelor, Jersey Shore and so on.

What example is being set for our young girls? With examples such as those listed above, we are telling young girls and women that it is okay to be loud and obnoxious, curse like I don’t know what, wear skirts up their behinds and shirts down to their navel. That it is okay to get falling down, pissy drunk and hooking up with any “cute” guy they meet at the club.

Who is teaching them the right way? It is supposed to be their mothers and other women in their lives, but unfortunately, these women who should be examples, are some of the main culprits (see Mama Drama on VH1 for a prime example of this).

So what does it mean to “act like a lady”? I found the following information from http://wikihow.com/be-a-lady. Any personal observation from me is in red.

           

Acting Like a Lady

1.    Be well mannered. Manners are a necessity to being ladylike. Read up on books that teach etiquette and always be nice to everyone, but at the same time, don't be a doormat. You have no responsibility for your heritage, so you should not be judged by that. However, there are people who will stereotype you because you are Black or Hispanic or whatever. Don’t live up to their narrow-mindless.  However, you will, and should, be judged by your friends. That being said;

2.    Choose your friends wisely. You do not want to be embarrassed by your friends, and you want friends who are on the same social and intellectual level as you are. Who you spend time with says a lot about who you are. If you are saddled with a friend who is not a person you like, talk to them with tact. Explain that, while they are a great person, you don't think that the two of you are similar enough to get on well. You could also say that you like the person but would like to be acquaintances, rather than friends.

3.    Always act appropriately. Remember that actions speak louder than words. For example, pull your skirt under your legs when sitting down. Always sit with legs together or, if you must cross them, crossed only at the ankle and placed close to the seat, slightly to a side of you. I get so tired seeing women’s underwear (or lack thereof) and their cellulite thighs. Nobody wants to see that. I promise.  Do not overindulge in food and avoid excessive alcohol at a party or business function. Gluttony or drunkenness shows one's lack of self-control and can cause a loss of respect or potentially embarrassing moment in front of your peers.

4.    Practice martyr-free modesty. In everything she does, a lady will acknowledge those who helped her before she takes any credit for herself. A lady will not flaunt herself, her valuables, or her accomplishments. You don’t have to boast that you are an “independent woman”. People will see your true self without you having to brag about it. A good reputation can surpass all of those things. Do not correct others unless they ask for your advice. Do not act like you are better than anyone else. A lady is not self-absorbed. But be careful not to seem overly modest -do not be weak and submissive. You are too intelligent and classy for that.

5.    Never lose your cool. Don't let people get under your skin, no matter how much they try. Keep your composure. Express your surprise or disappointment at someone's behavior in a gentle way to show that their actions have affected you and to show that you have feelings, or else people might think you're cold or heartless. Drug or alcohol use reduces self control. Avoid them!

Talking Like a Lady

1. Choose your words wisely. What you say and how you say it are two very important factors in exuding class. Always speak at a soft to moderate tone - you shouldn't need to raise your voice. If you're dealing with a person who won't listen unless you speak forcefully, then they aren't worth dealing with. If you have nothing good to say then don't say anything at all - take that to heart! Cursing and using vulgar language is also highly inappropriate.
2. Keep calm and carry on. You must ALWAYS be level-headed and keep your cool, especially in public. People will judge you by the way you speak, so keep your words calm and polite and your tone level. You must act this way even if someone is annoying you.
3. Sharpen your mind. Keep yourself informed of world events, politics, selected movies, plays, and music. In this way you'll be able to participate in stimulating conversations with a wide range of people. Being cultured expands one's knowledge and interests and enables you to develop meaningful business and romantic relationships. Your conversations should not always revolve around what happened on the last episode of “enter reality show title here” or the latest celebrity or local gossip.

Dressing Like a Lady

1. Dress the part. You don't have to wear a suit or dress but a lady always wears clean, coordinated clothing.

All clothes should fit properly - not too baggy, not too tight. There is a saying, “Your clothes should be tight enough to show that you are a woman, but loose enough to show that you are a lady.”

Always wear some sort of proper undergarments. Wearing a tight dress or skirt? Some sort of body shaper would be nice to smooth out those rolls. Wearing a white shirt or pants or a fabric that you can see through? Wear flesh-toned underwear. Florescent polka dot panties are not the way to go. Most women cannot go without a bra. Invest in a good one. They do make strapless bras.

One is not ever considered classy if she exposes an intimate body part, (showing excessive cleavage, etc.). If something is made to wear in the bedroom (lingerie), then please wear it there and not out and about. Or wear it under your clothes.  

A lady will dress for her body type. Just because they make it in your size, doesn’t mean that you should wear it.

A lady does not try to get ahead by using her physical attributes.

When you dress and act a certain way, people take you at your word and actions and will treat you accordingly. Dress and act like a lady and you will be treated like a lady. Dress and act like a tramp – well, you know how that will go.

Be blessed!

First Lady Michelle Obama. The definition of a true lady.

M.I.A.

Well, look who's back? Yes, I have been M.I.A. since November. Where have I been? What have I been doing? One simple word: LIFE.

Unfortunately, I let life get in the way of sharing with you all and I apologize. You will hear from more more often even if it's just a quote from someone. But I can't let you down. I received a lot of great feedback and I can't leave everyone hanging.

So, look forward to hearing from me again.

Be blessed!

Michele

Who You Gonna Call?

As a customer service professional, I am probably more aware than most people on the quality of customer service that people give. Especially when it comes to service provided over the phones.

Some places are great at it and others, not so great. When you answer your phone at your place of business, do callers feel welcomed or are they scared?

Here are few tips that I feel can help you serve your callers better and have them hang up the phone feeling good.

Hello?

How many times have you called someplace and all they say is, “ABC Company”? It’s usually said so fast, you really didn’t understand them and then you kind of just sit there because you aren’t sure if you got a machine or person.So then you get the irritated, "Hellllooo?"

The preferable way to answer a business phone is: “Thank you for calling ABC Company. This is Michele. How may I help you?” Answering the phone in this way shows appreciation to the caller, tells them who they are talking to, and let’s them know that you are willing to help them.

Hold Please

Ever been told, “Hold please”, and then placed in what I call Hold Hell? I hate it. For starters, I may not be able to hold. Don’t make assumptions. I especially hate when you call a business and they immediately answer the phone, “ABC Company, can you hold please?” and then place me on hold without even hearing my response. Those companies get hung up on.

Always ask if you can place them on hold while you do whatever it is you need to do. (“May I place you on hold while I check with that department?”) Wait for their response and then place them on hold. You may find out that they aren’t able to hold at the time and either they will call back or would like for someone to call them back.

If you are answering phones and you are so busy that when answering the phones you immediately have to place people on hold because your boss doesn’t like to hear phones ringing, then your boss needs to upgrade their phone system (or hire someone else) so that calls don’t back up on you that badly.

Once you have placed them on hold, and you are picking the caller back up, you need to thank them for holding before you provide them with the information they were holding for. (“Thank you for holding. I found out….”) By doing this, it helps the caller get back on track and paying attention to what you have to say. Just coming back on the line and start talking about whatever it is they needed can be disconcerting and you usually end up repeating yourself because they weren’t expecting you to get back on the line and just start rambling off information.

Smalk (Smile + Talk)  

When you are answering phones, you need to sound friendly. You can say all of the right things, but if it isn’t said in the right way, it won’t be effective. So when you are answering those phones, you need to smile - Just as if the person has walked into your office (if you aren’t doing that, see my post titled “Where is the Love”).  A smile comes through your voice when you are talking. It makes your caller feel good and makes you feel good as well. Tyra has Smizing …I have Smalking. So Smalk!

Good-bye

When you are getting to the end of your conversation, it is always helpful to ask in some kind of way if there is anything else you can help them with. Examples include: How else can I help you today? Is there anything else I can do for you? Did I answer all of your questions?

Once you have determined that your phone call is done, thank the caller for calling. Tell them to have a nice day. Basically end the call on an upbeat and positive manner. Sometimes a good last impression can help change a bad first impression.

On a personal note...

I would be remiss in not saying this. Even though I love music and enjoy listening to the latest hits, when I call someone, I don’t want to hear it.

On a personal level, I have never been a fan of Call Tones. As a potential employer, I absolutely despise Call Tones. Nothing screams unprofessional more than that. If you are giving out your cell number for employers to call you back for a job, do yourself a favor and drop the Call Tones. I have heard of managers who have called an applicant, received their call tones and immediately hung up and didn’t consider that applicant. Yes it may sound petty, but it is what it is. I have never done that, BUT it doesn’t leave me with a good first impression and the applicant now has a harder time in winning me over.

Let’s Re-Cap

1. Use a greeting that tells the caller who they are calling, who they are talking to and that you are willing to help them.
2. Always ask for the caller’s permission to place them on hold and when getting back on the line, thank them for holding.
3. Smalk! Smiling never hurts anything!
4. Before hanging up, make sure the caller has been completely taken care of and thank them for calling.
5. Get rid of Call Tones. Find another way to express your love of music.  

Straight, No Chaser

If you work for a company, business or person this message is for you.

No matter how much your employer may tell you, "We treat all of our employees like family", or "I'm not just your boss, I’m your friend", etc, the truth is, you are an employee. Nothing more, nothing less. Someone who has been hired in order to help the company, business, or person make more money.

There has been a lot of talk lately in politics about how the country needs to get businesses to create jobs. Dan Kennedy, author of the "No B.S." series of books, said it best: "Companies do not have the responsibility of creating jobs. They have the responsibility of making a profit." And what is the highest expense a business has? Bingo! You guessed it! Employees. 

Dan Kennedy also said, "Employers are not obligated to make their employees’ lives happy." He is correct. You were hired to do a specific job using specific procedures. You are compensated for that effort. You do well, you get to keep your job and maybe advance. You don’t do so well, and you can find yourself out of job.

That said, if you want to be successful - If you want to get promoted and move up to the next position - you must make yourself invaluable. Your employer should feel that the company wouldn’t be same without you and not that the company would be better off without you. 

How do you this? One easy way is to treat your job as if you were the owner or manager of the company. If you work for a small business, and your boss works very closely to you, this might be easier to imagine than someone who works for a large corporation. One thing to remember is that large corporations had to start as small businesses at one point. The owner was probably the one who had to clean the toilets, order the supplies, cook the food, sweep the floor, make customer calls – whatever it is the company needs to do to operate. 

So do your duties with the mindset of "This is my company. If I want more customers to come and spend their money, I have to treat them with courtesy and respect at all times. I have to make sure that our product is consistent and reliable. I have to make sure that my office / building / store is clean and looks presentable." By taking this responsibility, it shows that you take pride in your work. It shows that you can be trusted to take care of their business. And just like the Bible tells us, if you are faithful over the little things, you can made ruler over bigger things. 

 So, what are you going to do as an employee? Are you just going to show up for work? Or are you going to show up and help move your company to the next level? The choice is yours.

Where is the Love? Part II

In my last post, I gave tips on how to provide the basics of customer service. But this time I need to address how we need to act as a customer.

The very first thing you need to do is approach each encounter as a new experience. Do not base your current visit or phone call on what happened in the past. The last time may have just been a fluke. Come to the table with a good attitude. You know the saying, you attract more flies with honey than with vinegar? Keep that in mind. You will get back what you give out. So if you come with a bad attitude, you are only going to get a bad attitude back. Or at the very least, you won't get the best service or deal that you could get if you were nicer.

On a side note, if the experience you get is continually crappy, then it's time to find another place to do your business. Stop putting up with mediocre service. This is a reason I don't shop at the "low price leader". And when I absolutely have to, I try to go to the self-service kiosk. If more people would stop paying for bad service, then companies would have to change their processes.

My next tip for you, the customer, is to be prepared. Have your account numbers, model numbers, invoice numbers -- whatever it is you are needing help with -- ready BEFORE you call or come in. This helps the process move more smoothly. When you are not prepared, it is very frustrating for both you and the customer service representative (CSR). Keep in mind that when you don't have certain information, it requires the CSR to have to look it up a different way and sometimes these ways require a different software program to find the information. This means a delay in getting you your information, so don't pop an attitude because it is taking longer than you expected. Be an honorary Boy Scout and be prepared.

If the CSR asks for information in order to verify you, don't get upset with them if they ask what you deem to be "too many questions". In this day and age of identity theft, companies have to make sure that they are releasing information to the party who is authorized to receive it. So it doesn't matter if you are the one that pays that loan for your boo, if you aren't on the account, you can't receive any information.

My next tip is to be nice. Even when things aren't going like you would like them to go, please don't yell and curse at an employee. This makes you look like a bully and does nothing to help the situation. Remain calm. You can show your anger and frustration in constructive ways. Ask to speak to a different rep. Sometimes a new pair of eyes, or a different mindset can help bring a new outlook to the situation. Ask to speak to the manager or supervisor. Once you get them, remain calm and explain your problem. Please use intelligent words. There is nothing more ignorant than people who curse up a storm. As a manager, when that happens, I am tuning you out. 

The most important thing I can probably tell you is this: LISTEN! I can't count how many times I have had customers call me asking me for certain information and then don't listen to a word I am saying. Just as the CSR is giving their attention to you, give your attention to them. They just might have something very important to say to you. When you don't, what happens is you will be the first one screaming that "nobody told me that" and it will turn out that yes they did, you just weren't paying attention. Listening is very important especially if you are trying to get technical assistance. If you miss what they are telling you to do, you might mess something up.

Lastly, show appreciation. If you were helped, then at the very least say thank you. If your service was extraordinary, try to let a manager know about that employee. By doing so, you will make all parties involved feel good about themselves -- including you. For all you know, that little bit of kudos you give, might mean a raise or some other type of recognition for that employee.

So let's review:

1. Start Fresh
2. Be Prepared
3. Be Nice
4. Listen
5. Say Thank You

By using these tips, your experiences can be more pleasant.

Where is the Love?

As a customer service professional I am sensitive to the type of service I receive when I am out shopping, eating, buying my groceries, calling my cell phone company and other activities. One thing I have noticed, as I am sure quite a few of you have, is that service seems to be on a steady decline.

And I am not even talking about your over-the-top, do-anything-to-please-the-customer type service. I am talking about your basic, run-of-the-mill service. The Hello (said with a smile), saying please and thank you. The things I call the basics.  So the question I ask today is: Where is the Love?

Seventy percent of jobs in the United States are considered “Service Providing” jobs. Yet, basic customer service skills are lacking. Why is that?

Well, for starters, most people don’t believe that they work  in the service industry. Sorry to rain on your parade, but if you deal with people as a primary (and even secondary) function of your job, YOU ARE IN CUSTOMER SERVICE! No if, ands or buts about it.

I hear people say all the time, “I am not a people person”. Well, guess what, you better get that line out of your vocabulary. Again, seventy percent of jobs in the United States are service providing jobs. That means that any job you get will more than likely deal with people. And this number is rising each year.

I realize that a lot of people are in the jobs they are in because they need something so that they can pay their bills, So this means that there are a lot of people who are working in a job that they really don’t  like. But as a customer, I shouldn’t have that taken out on me.

I have always had the position that no matter what job I do, I do it with courtesy and professionalism. I smile. I greet my customers. I say please and thank you. The basics.  

Well, now I hear you say, “But the customers are just so rude. Why should I be nice to them when they aren’t nice to me?” Yes, the customers can be rude. But you know why they are? It’s because they have received crappy service so many times in the past, that they come to you in a defensive mode – bracing themselves for another dose of crappy service.

And why should you be nice to them? Because IT’S YOUR JOB! If you don’t like it all that much, find another one. It’s as easy as that. But with 7 out of 10 jobs being service related, good luck with finding a job that doesn’t require you be nice to people.

So here are some tips on how to provide the basics of customer service. A little goes a long way.

1.      Smile. When you look pleasant, people act pleasantly towards you.

2.      Greet your customer. Say Hello before you ask how you can help them.

3.      Speak in complete sentences. When giving a total for a transaction, don’t say. “$10.50”. Instead say, “Your total will be $10.50.”

4.      Use your manners. Please can make such a big impact when requesting something from your customer. I can’t tell you how many times I hear, “Next window”.  A nicer way, “Please pull up to the next window”

5.      Always thank your customer. People don’t have to come to your business. If customers don’t frequent your store, restaurant, call center, day care, or wherever you work, then your employer loses money which means they may not be able to pay you. NO customers = NO job. 

My next post will address the customer. Because as much as we want to blame the employee, some of the blame is on you, too.

School Daze

In this day and age, we all know how important it is for our youth to get an education. Starting as early as Kindergarten, we are encouraging kids to stay in school  so you can go to college and get a degree and get a good job.

We need to stop telling our children this.

Screeeeeeech!!! Pump the breaks! What did she just say?

Yes, you read that correctly. We need to stop telling kids that they need to go to college. Yes, I firmly believe that education is a key to success. However, there are many different ways they can accomplish their goals without going to college.

Most educators know, and as parents we must realize, that every child is not cut out for college. By stressing college to these children, we are already setting them up to fail or at best, struggle excessively unnecessarily.

We must and should encourage our children to go for their dreams, but we must realize that every dream may not include a stint at a university obtaining a Bachelor’s degree.

There is nothing wrong with a trade or vocational school. There are many areas that they can be trained in and still have a successful career. Look at a fraction of the different career paths available:

·        Health Care: Medical and Dental Support, Massage Therapy, Nutrition, Optometry

·        Creative: Architecture, Cosmetology, Design, Fashion, Graphic/Computer Design

·        Food: Culinary Arts, Restaurant Management

·        Other: Construction, Electronics, Mortician, Trucking

As you can see from this sampling of careers, they can be successful without going through a five year college plan.

Wait a second. Did she just say five years? I thought college took four.

Surprise! If you haven’t been keeping up, most Bachelor degree programs take a minimum of five years to complete. So keep that in mind when budgeting for those college expenses.

If your child isn’t sure if university life is for them, have them take some courses at the local community college . This can be a great way to get the basics under their belt and also determine if college life is for them.

So parents, encourage your kids to chase their dreams and help them find a path that will help get them there.

Click here to read a transcript for "Is College Right for Everyone?" (from the Diane Rehm Show via NPR)

[I found this link after I had typed this up, but if you google this topic, you will find many articles about this subject and how many experts feel that promotion of college for everyone is not the right road to travel]