Lady or a Tramp?

As I observe people around me, I realize that the term “lady” no longer has the same meaning as it once did. I hear women say all the time, “I’m too much of a lady to act like that” and then go off and do something so unladylike it is ridiculous.

The definition of “lady” is:

            A woman who is refined, polite and well-spoken.

“Refined” is defined as:

            Freed or free from coarseness, vulgarity, etc.
            Synonyms include: cultivated, polished, polite, genteel, elegant

I am sorry, but a high number of women are not acting like a lady. Not in the way they speak, act, dress, walk, dance, and so on.

You want to see an example of unladylike behavior? Just turn on a TV and watch any reality TV show that is out there: Real Housewives of Anytown, USA, Basketball Wives, Real World, The Bachelor, Jersey Shore and so on.

What example is being set for our young girls? With examples such as those listed above, we are telling young girls and women that it is okay to be loud and obnoxious, curse like I don’t know what, wear skirts up their behinds and shirts down to their navel. That it is okay to get falling down, pissy drunk and hooking up with any “cute” guy they meet at the club.

Who is teaching them the right way? It is supposed to be their mothers and other women in their lives, but unfortunately, these women who should be examples, are some of the main culprits (see Mama Drama on VH1 for a prime example of this).

So what does it mean to “act like a lady”? I found the following information from http://wikihow.com/be-a-lady. Any personal observation from me is in red.

           

Acting Like a Lady

1.    Be well mannered. Manners are a necessity to being ladylike. Read up on books that teach etiquette and always be nice to everyone, but at the same time, don't be a doormat. You have no responsibility for your heritage, so you should not be judged by that. However, there are people who will stereotype you because you are Black or Hispanic or whatever. Don’t live up to their narrow-mindless.  However, you will, and should, be judged by your friends. That being said;

2.    Choose your friends wisely. You do not want to be embarrassed by your friends, and you want friends who are on the same social and intellectual level as you are. Who you spend time with says a lot about who you are. If you are saddled with a friend who is not a person you like, talk to them with tact. Explain that, while they are a great person, you don't think that the two of you are similar enough to get on well. You could also say that you like the person but would like to be acquaintances, rather than friends.

3.    Always act appropriately. Remember that actions speak louder than words. For example, pull your skirt under your legs when sitting down. Always sit with legs together or, if you must cross them, crossed only at the ankle and placed close to the seat, slightly to a side of you. I get so tired seeing women’s underwear (or lack thereof) and their cellulite thighs. Nobody wants to see that. I promise.  Do not overindulge in food and avoid excessive alcohol at a party or business function. Gluttony or drunkenness shows one's lack of self-control and can cause a loss of respect or potentially embarrassing moment in front of your peers.

4.    Practice martyr-free modesty. In everything she does, a lady will acknowledge those who helped her before she takes any credit for herself. A lady will not flaunt herself, her valuables, or her accomplishments. You don’t have to boast that you are an “independent woman”. People will see your true self without you having to brag about it. A good reputation can surpass all of those things. Do not correct others unless they ask for your advice. Do not act like you are better than anyone else. A lady is not self-absorbed. But be careful not to seem overly modest -do not be weak and submissive. You are too intelligent and classy for that.

5.    Never lose your cool. Don't let people get under your skin, no matter how much they try. Keep your composure. Express your surprise or disappointment at someone's behavior in a gentle way to show that their actions have affected you and to show that you have feelings, or else people might think you're cold or heartless. Drug or alcohol use reduces self control. Avoid them!

Talking Like a Lady

1. Choose your words wisely. What you say and how you say it are two very important factors in exuding class. Always speak at a soft to moderate tone - you shouldn't need to raise your voice. If you're dealing with a person who won't listen unless you speak forcefully, then they aren't worth dealing with. If you have nothing good to say then don't say anything at all - take that to heart! Cursing and using vulgar language is also highly inappropriate.
2. Keep calm and carry on. You must ALWAYS be level-headed and keep your cool, especially in public. People will judge you by the way you speak, so keep your words calm and polite and your tone level. You must act this way even if someone is annoying you.
3. Sharpen your mind. Keep yourself informed of world events, politics, selected movies, plays, and music. In this way you'll be able to participate in stimulating conversations with a wide range of people. Being cultured expands one's knowledge and interests and enables you to develop meaningful business and romantic relationships. Your conversations should not always revolve around what happened on the last episode of “enter reality show title here” or the latest celebrity or local gossip.

Dressing Like a Lady

1. Dress the part. You don't have to wear a suit or dress but a lady always wears clean, coordinated clothing.

All clothes should fit properly - not too baggy, not too tight. There is a saying, “Your clothes should be tight enough to show that you are a woman, but loose enough to show that you are a lady.”

Always wear some sort of proper undergarments. Wearing a tight dress or skirt? Some sort of body shaper would be nice to smooth out those rolls. Wearing a white shirt or pants or a fabric that you can see through? Wear flesh-toned underwear. Florescent polka dot panties are not the way to go. Most women cannot go without a bra. Invest in a good one. They do make strapless bras.

One is not ever considered classy if she exposes an intimate body part, (showing excessive cleavage, etc.). If something is made to wear in the bedroom (lingerie), then please wear it there and not out and about. Or wear it under your clothes.  

A lady will dress for her body type. Just because they make it in your size, doesn’t mean that you should wear it.

A lady does not try to get ahead by using her physical attributes.

When you dress and act a certain way, people take you at your word and actions and will treat you accordingly. Dress and act like a lady and you will be treated like a lady. Dress and act like a tramp – well, you know how that will go.

Be blessed!

First Lady Michelle Obama. The definition of a true lady.